A Simple, Repeatable Formula for Difficult Leadership Conversations
- Graeme Colville
- Aug 13
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 13
Why Difficult Leadership Conversations Go Sideways
Every leader faces moments where they have to deliver tough news, address performance issues, or guide their team through change. These are difficult leadership conversations - and they’re rarely comfortable.
Without a clear plan, these conversations can quickly derail. You might lose focus, struggle to address emotions in the room, or leave without getting the clarity you intended. That’s why a structured change discussion framework is essential - it gives you a path to follow so you don’t lose your footing.
The Core Change Conversation Path
The Core Change Conversation Path is a three-phase structure you can use for any high-stakes or emotionally loaded discussion. It works whether you’re addressing resistance, announcing a shift in priorities, or tackling sensitive feedback.
The three phases are:
Before – Prepare and set your plan.
During – Guide the conversation with clarity and openness.
After – Follow through to make sure the message sticks.
You can think of it as your team check-in guide for any conversation that matters.
Before: Prepare for Difficult Leadership Conversations
Preparation is where most leaders underinvest their time. They might review talking points but skip mapping the emotional and practical flow of the conversation.
For a smoother conversation:
Clarify your goal. Know exactly what outcome you want.
Map your flow. Start with context, move to the decision or change, and then outline next steps.
Anticipate reactions. Think about how different team members might respond.
Plan your prompts. Use open-ended questions to invite dialogue, such as:
“What’s the hardest part of this for you right now?”
“What would make this easier to work through?”
A change discussion framework saves time here - you can pull proven prompts and flows instead of starting from scratch.
During: Guide the Moment With Clarity and Openness
The “during” phase is where difficult leadership conversations can go off the rails if you’re not intentional. Many leaders default to delivering a one-way update, but this isn’t enough for high-stakes situations.
To keep the conversation productive:
Use plain language. Avoid jargon or corporate filler.
Name what’s certain and what’s still in motion. People can handle uncertainty when you’re honest about it.
Invite input early. Don’t wait until the end to ask questions.
Acknowledge emotions. Recognize reactions without rushing to fix them.
Example: Instead of “Any questions?” try:
“This might land differently for each of us. What’s coming up for you as you hear this?”
Here, a team check-in guide can help you spot when silence means agreement—and when it means hesitation.
After: Follow Through So the Conversation Sticks
Most of the real thinking - and the real questions - happen after the initial meeting. If you don’t follow up, you risk leaving your team in the dark.
Effective follow-through includes:
Scheduled check-ins. Even 10 minutes a week later can reset clarity.
One-on-one conversations. These allow space for individual concerns.
Progress updates. Keep people informed, even if progress is slow.
Reinforce the “why.” Remind the team of the purpose behind the change.
A change discussion framework should make follow-up automatic - reminders, templates, and prompts keep you from losing momentum.
Common Mistakes in Difficult Leadership Conversations
Even with a structure, there are traps that can derail you:
Rushing to solutions
Jumping straight to fixes before hearing the team out.
Over-explaining
Talking too much to ease your own discomfort, leaving no room for questions.
Avoiding visible tension
Ignoring body language that signals resistance.
Skipping the follow-up
Treating the conversation as complete after one meeting.
Why This Path Works
The Core Change Conversation Path works because it creates predictability and safety in high-pressure moments. Your team learns that when there’s a big change or a sensitive issue, you’ll:
Come prepared.
Make space for their input.
Follow through.
Over time, this consistency builds trust - one of the most valuable outcomes of mastering difficult leadership conversations.
The Core Change Conversation Path Toolkit
You don’t have to build this system from scratch. The Core Change Conversation Path Toolkit gives you:
The full 3-phase conversation map (Before, During, After)
Ready-to-use prompts for engaging your team
Common roadblocks and how to navigate them
One-on-one follow-up templates
A reusable team check-in guide you can adapt to any situation
It’s designed for leaders handling high-stakes moments - fast, practical, and people-focused.
Lead Difficult Leadership Conversations With Confidence
The next time you’re facing a high-pressure conversation, don’t leave it to chance. Use a proven change discussion framework that keeps you steady, invites real dialogue, and ensures you follow through.
Because when you lead difficult conversations well, you lead change well.




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